"Live long and love hard and you’re a damned fool"
These are my words from before life was kool.
I know the pain and I fucking know chaos
I already know how it hurts and I already know loss.
Don’t lecture me on fate or on hate or on soul mate.
I got the lesson first-fucking-hand…you’re too goddamned late.
So don’t sit there and tell me it’ll be alright,
Don’t fuckin sit there and tell me I have to fight.
I can give up, it’s my fucking right.
I choose to live in shadows- I ignored the light.
This was my life before I gave in again.
My life before I chose to save him again.
Then you walked in, baby…you took control.
You dug yourself within my heart your own personal hole.
I cared so much I put a razor to my skin-
I felt the cold steel as it started to slide in.
"Tell me when it hurts, baby…tell me when it hurts"
You looked away so you can’t see- you, it will never hurt.
Pretend it don’t hurt ‘till I’m dead and I’m gone,
It was already hurting you all along.
Tell me to stop, baby…I’m drawing blood.
Just like when he pulled the trigger when the bullet was a dud.
Russian Roulette- my world and my time.
In a time when thoughts of you was my prime.
But I’m worried now, baby…I’m alone and I’m scared.
I placed my bet and dropped my hand but I don’t know how I faired.
‘Cause you’re falling for me, my angel, falling when I fell.
I fell so long ago that now I’m living in hell.
You love me but I love you more-
Don’t say you loved me but that was before.
I’m waiting for your call- "fuck it" on the other end.
Before I break, there’s only so far I can bend.
Called you back, the line was dead- like you?
I shouldn’t have to worry about you pulling through!
I HAVE no patience, the call will never come.
Does this shit even matter after you toss a few or had some?
You went behind my back and broke my fuckin trust
But I came right back not caring if it drives me to the dust.
You like that sweet death as it courses through your veins?
Or do you just like the kiss of sweet Mary Jane?
This betrayal touches the drops from tears of the moon.
Still waiting for your call- anxiety now consumes.
Why do I think you’re fading away?
When I promised I’d never be wading away?
Are you turning your back and starting to walk?
Too many people are full of shit and all talk.
Wouldn’t chase you down ‘cause I want you to be free.
But don’t fuckin lecture me on what is my destiny.
YOU choose this path- YOU choose to hurt me.
YOU choose to make me worry until I can’t breathe.
You’re a cold fuckin fighter that illuminates death.
Every moment of silence burns and I’m losing my breath.
Just remember every time you hurt me so bad,
Remember every time I’ve been fooled and been had,
Remember every time you can’t take it anymore….
Remember that you love me- but I love you more.