What the hell was I thinking when I pushed in the knife?
Why the fuck did I want to end my life?
You know my being was always a strife,
Which is why I decided to take my life.
The reality struck you when they told you I died.
By the way, I hope youre satisfied.
I watch these simple questions you ask,
You ask when finding the answers is a simple task.
Im watching you sit by my body and cry,
Watching you ask why I had to die.
You sit there and continue to ask me why,
You cant bring me back no matter how hard you try.
You never had a chance to say goodbye.
So the pain continues to multiply.
Its a simple question that I can answer,
My life was nothing but a plague like cancer.
They say I lost my decency,
But that was only recently.
I cried out to you and found deaf ears,
Even though I had loved you for so many years.
I have finally taken away all my fears,
You might think I jumped ahead too many gears.
You told me you would always be there,
Now I am transfixed in an ice-cold, deathly stare.
To say youre my best friend, dont you dare,
Because I am dead, doesnt mean I cant glare.
The last days of my life I was continually screaming,
But the eyes of my tormentors were consistently gleaming.
The power of this hate is constantly streaming,
But they will always be forever teeming.
From within you will always hear me screaming,
Your mind always pictures the blood on the wall that was streaking.
My eyes are torn out, so there is no peeking.
Comfort, I will always be seeking.
You will spend the rest of your own life crying,
withering away as everyone else is dying.
You hear my voice only when I am sighing,
you fail to silence it, but keep right on trying.
You continue to try to keep the pain from showing,
but its inside your chest, always growing.
You wish you could keep everyone else from knowing,
that straight to hell is where I am going.
When you sleep, I hope you dream of me,
and wake up screaming like youre drowning in the sea.
When you calm yourself, I hope you know to agree,
your happiness always eats at me.
When youre awake, I hope you remember me,
and break down to tears every time you picture me.
And then I still hope you can feel me,
and then know in your own heart that you killed me.
and I know with my heart you will sense me,
and know this is the way it always be
I hope this insanity gets to you,
and then you wont walk feeling quite so new.
I will always be tormenting you and others, too.
And you know there is nothing you can do.
And I will be there on the day of your death.
I will personally seek out your last breath.
I will try my best to tear out your heart,
Even though I know we are so far apart.
From left to right your eyes will dart,
Until I tear them out, and with the blood I will paint myself art.
My anger levels fly off the chart,
My way to hell, I have begun to depart.
You might say Ive gone fucking insane,
But at least I dont have to take this pain.
So much for living my life in the fast lane,
You try to forget me, but find it in vain.
Someone once said you reap what you sew
But this is something nobody will know.
From hereonout, you will always hear my voice,
It is no longer placed under your choice.
You didnt know your words possessed the power to kill,
But this curse you have, I have already fulfilled.
There is nobody you killed more than I,
This is why I made myself die.